If You Really Knew Me

(For the people who wish to been seen)


You know nothing of me,
Only what you believe to be true.
You assume,
But you don't see the daily mess
That swims around my head
Whispering...
Reminding me of the loneliness I feel
In a room full of people.

What do you know of the moments
I question why I am even here
And how life just seems to happen to me
Instead of me really living it?

Don't compliment or admire my strength.
I'm just as weak as anyone else...
Probably more.
I get mad at God,
I shatter things when I'm alone,
I scream in the dark.

My pain is real.
It's raw.
Cut open, time and time again.
No time to heal.
No mercy.

I'm not the "cool chick".
Don't label me that way.
I feel out of place everywhere I go.
I'm uncomfortable in my own skin.

Don't see my broken heart
As an opportunity to prey on me...
To be your next conquest.
I find more pain
In realizing that about you.

I'm just a broken person
Who wishes they could fly away
Directly into the sun
Evaporating the scars of this life.

You call me beautiful?
You have no idea how some days
The thought of connecting eyes with another human
Terrifies me to the core.

You call me a B--ch?
Well, right there you and I agree.
As loving and compassionate as I try to be
Humans, especially "Christians"
Disgust the F--k out of me
With their lies and selfishness
Their poor reflection of God's heart for everyone.

Let my walls down you say?
For what?
So you can explore and see
What is left for you to take?

What do you want from me?
Confidence?
Trust?
Sex?
Something in common?

I'm sorry,
But that is asking too much right now.
What you can have,
Is the truth.

31

Acrylics on Canvas

Artist: Kate Hart