Highschool Boyfriend

Temper tantrumed toddler

In a creatine pumped man suit

Racist

Womanizer

Jock

"Can we be friends?", you ask?!

No actually, we can't.

Oh... You want reasons?!...

Let's start with the fact that 16 years is not long enough to erase the destruction of

My innocence

My self esteem

My identity

Or maybe it's the 10 years of therapy I needed to attempt to heal from

Every disgusting thing you did to me

Every disgusting word you spoke to me

Perhaps it is because of your ability, back then, to convince me I was unworthy

Unworthy of kindness

Unworthy of acceptance

Unworthy of your faithfulness

Maybe it's because I can still remember the feeling of your spit running down my face...

Or the impact of your fists...

Your constant threats...

Your constant follow throughs...

Maybe it's my PTSD diagnosis I can accredit to you for all of the abuse...

Maybe it's because I still can't fully bend the last 3 fingers on my left hand

I bet your mustang door still has my DNA in the door seam

Maybe it's the broken blood vessels in the center of my nose that remind me of you already...

See...we don't need to be friends,

I see you in the mirror everyday.

But you don't understand why I can't look you in the eye when we run into each other?

You think we had good times?

When?

When you were busy telling me my friends were not good enough...

My style not preppy enough...

My personality not interesting enough...

That *I* simply wasn't enough,

And that NO ONE would ever love me except you?

I was a child, and you taught me that love was meant to be painful

Sociopath

Narcissist

Bully

 You "Daddy-Issued" Throw Away

You showed me everyday that I was worthless

And I believed you.

And I treated myself accordingly, for a very long time

The only memory I have of you that I relish

Was the sight of you punching yourself in the face repeatedly when I told you we were over

When I was old enough to not care any longer what you could or would do to me

The day I escaped

Thanks for that.

Friend request denied.