Highschool Boyfriend
Temper tantrumed toddler
In a creatine pumped man suit
Racist
Womanizer
Jock
"Can we be friends?", you ask?!
No actually, we can't.
Oh... You want reasons?!...
Let's start with the fact that 16 years is not long enough to erase the destruction of
My innocence
My self esteem
My identity
Or maybe it's the 10 years of therapy I needed to attempt to heal from
Every disgusting thing you did to me
Every disgusting word you spoke to me
Perhaps it is because of your ability, back then, to convince me I was unworthy
Unworthy of kindness
Unworthy of acceptance
Unworthy of your faithfulness
Maybe it's because I can still remember the feeling of your spit running down my face...
Or the impact of your fists...
Your constant threats...
Your constant follow throughs...
Maybe it's my PTSD diagnosis I can accredit to you for all of the abuse...
Maybe it's because I still can't fully bend the last 3 fingers on my left hand
I bet your mustang door still has my DNA in the door seam
Maybe it's the broken blood vessels in the center of my nose that remind me of you already...
See...we don't need to be friends,
I see you in the mirror everyday.
But you don't understand why I can't look you in the eye when we run into each other?
You think we had good times?
When?
When you were busy telling me my friends were not good enough...
My style not preppy enough...
My personality not interesting enough...
That *I* simply wasn't enough,
And that NO ONE would ever love me except you?
I was a child, and you taught me that love was meant to be painful
Sociopath
Narcissist
Bully
You "Daddy-Issued" Throw Away
You showed me everyday that I was worthless
And I believed you.
And I treated myself accordingly, for a very long time
The only memory I have of you that I relish
Was the sight of you punching yourself in the face repeatedly when I told you we were over
When I was old enough to not care any longer what you could or would do to me
The day I escaped
Thanks for that.
Friend request denied.
