Veil

What if just for one day
I tore off the veil,
Indulged myself in honesty
And held back nothing?

What if people got to hear
The inner workings of my heart,
Exposing all thoughts and desires,
The lovely and hideous that harbor internally?

Shall we dance, you and I?
Yes, you...
 The one with no clue.
Would you be prepared to soak in the truth
Unfiltered?
It will fall like hail, I assume,
Cracking windshields of ignorance.

Shall we sit, you and I?
Yes, you...
The one I secretly long for.
Can you take a moment to clear your mind
Uninterrupted?
I will expose myself raw,
Crumbling walls of blindness.

Shall we hash this out, you and I?
The one who tore my soul.
Would you be prepared to shut your filthy mouth?
I'll sow it shut.
It will hurt like hell,
Repaying years of  emotional violence.

Shall we visit, you and I?
Yes, you...
The one I lost too soon.
Can you fly down and wipe my tears?
Breathe on my neck one more time?
It will calm my spirit,
Refreshing belief in God and man.

What if just for one day,
People had to listen, had to see,
Unable to avoid the knowledge
Of the admiration or disdain?

Would all things remain the same?
Would lights turn on and redirect?
Or would all stay unchanged,
Leaving me naked and vulnerable,
Veil at my feet,
Alone?

Artwork by: Julia Trops
(http://www.rubylane.com/item/456719-femalenude30-12/Original-Art-Veil-Scarf-Female)

Fight

Ingest it...
Your self created poison,
Seasoned with your manipulations,
Served scolding hot
With the hell fire that is surely one day your destiny.

The words of your mouth
Can burn like gasoline
Melting flesh and confidence,
Turning peace and hope into ashes.

Do you sleep?
Are you relaxed with the notion that your disguise
Is made so well
That observers pass you by unaware
Of the vulgarity and violent insecurity
You exhale into the atmosphere?

But you are clumsy,
Predictable,
And your eyes are vacant...soulless.
You blame my departure,
But you were empty long before I tried to love you.
God knows I tried.
I tried to love you, despite of yourself.

But you imprisoned me.
Striped me naked of my self respect and peace of mind.
You p****ed across the doorway of my freedom,
Marking your territory like the dog you are.

I felt it...
The cold,
The panic.
I trembled in fear of the lifelessness of everything I was.
And I became desperate for air.

So I breathed...
A deep long breath.
And I ran with all my might.

Your attempts to punish me since,
Have returned only to punish you,
Trapping you into a fake life,
A fake love,
A fake future.
Suffocating yourself,
Only no one can rescue you.
So choke.
Gasp for each breath.

I've got a life to live,
And all the oxygen I need.

Monsters

Evil no longer hides itself
Under bed frames,
Inside closets.

It lurks behind smiles,
Kind gestures,
Familiar faces.

It's an old man sitting on a porch.
An unraised ferrel child.

It's in the atmosphere,
Thick like smoke.

It surrounds us,
Dines with us,
Says hello to us on the street.

These are not campfire villains,
These are the stories we wish we never had to tell.

Our nightmares walk amongst us,
And make each day lived an act of bravery.

Humans.
The scariest monsters of all.

God helps us.

This Heart of Mine

Let's state the obvious:
Broken? Check.
Abused? Check.
Neglected? Check.

Cause and effect.
That's the reality of life,
But it does not define.

My heart?
My heart is something beautiful,
Something merciful,
Something exposed.

It's bloody.
Dripping with love and empathy
For the souls that capture it,
Deservingly, undeservingly, and unaware.

It rejoices when those held in it
Smile with the slightest achievement,
Laugh with the simplest joy,
Or rise triumphantly from the most painful ashes.

It aches when those it cherishes
Suffer loss of love or life,
Struggle to recognize their own value and worth,
Or latch on to something or someone harmful for them.

My heart?
Is it afraid? Yes.
Is it damaged? Yes.
Is it vulnerable? Yes.

But it still beats
With rhythm and strength.
And it will bleed with love and light
Until it returns
To the One who created it
Just as He wanted it to be.

Arise
Acrylics on Canvas
Artist: Kate Hart

Stench

How do you sleep at night?
Is your soul that void?

You have a stench...
Rancid,
Vulgar,
Lingering.

So well rehearsed,
You no longer need to review the script.
You fool yourself,
Believing my silence is 'fear of you'.
Don't flatter yourself.

TRUTH decides, on its own,
When it wants to present itself.
So, I've released it to do so.
My assistance isn't needed.

"Truth"
Do you recognize that word?
Are you familiar with its meaning?
I imagine it's as foreign to you
As "monogamy" or "decency".

Do you not see the distance I create?
And then here you come...
Like a moth to the flame,
Only I'm the one that gets burned,
Because I'm the only one
With a moral compass.

I struggle not to allow your dysfunctional weight,
Collapse me to the level of your character,
That creeps lower than the cracks
In the filthy oil stained pavement.

You are where you belong...
In the arms of the blind,
In the heart of the desperate.
So, seek refuge and sympathy elsewhere.
I'm all sold out here.

(Artist unknown)

Disorder

Where does my heart go when I suffer?
It forces itself into my throat,
Suffocating and nauseating me...
That's where is goes.

Mirror

The sting of all this loss,

The choking grip of this solitude…

Will it dull?

It feels like gasoline,

Burning holes and eating away my insides

Until all that remains of me

Are ashes on a dirty floor

That everyone steps over,

And never cleans up.

No fight left.

No longer trying to be seen.

Mirror, Mirror….

Show me something other than me.

Scars are souvenirs from places

I never wished to travel.

The reflection comes back

And all I see is the outline of a ghost…

Transparent and forgotten

Mourning the loss of itself,

Its relevance,

Its existence.

Mirror, Mirror…

I want to see someone complete.

I hear the white noise of voices.

“You are so beautiful” they say.

They say it….and walk away.

They say it, but they don’t stay.

They don’t rip open the exterior

And look deeper inside…

To see the maze of darkness

Leads somewhere that light still remains.

Mirror, Mirror…

I want someone to see inside of me.

Observing the familiar and the new,

Finding treasure in the decay and the growth,

Relating to the chaos and the calm,

Enjoying the wild and the refined,

And feeling comfort and joy in what they see.

Mirror, Mirror…

I want to see someone next to me.

Photo credit:
(http://yiota143.wordpress.com/page/32/)