Forgive

Perfect Stranger

Closest Friend

I smell it on you

The indiscretion

The hidden agenda

Let's have lunch, you and I

Talk music and film

Let me pour out my emotions on the table, like spilled milk

Allow the sound of the careless drips echo in both our minds

I remember your head tilt

The way you replied with the verbal tone of an infant

Thinking this a clever disguise for sincerity

Nasal and mocking

Patronizing and gross

This was a sound I once trusted in?

Did I used to find that endearing?

Was this once a love language between us?

Such a deceiving sweetness

I'll never forget

And why would I want to?

It taught me much

Your bag of tricks

The looseness of your lips

You stole what was already discarded of

Bravo

The empowerment you must feel

But you are just a nobody girl

Too blind to see that no one even looks up when you enter a room

Nobody wins here

Only gains

You gained a lifetime of questions

Insecurities

Silent sufferings

I gained freedom

From you

From him

From them

But perhaps I am mistaken

Maybe there needs to be more loss

Because I don't ever really feel free

Perhaps I can lose my devastation

My bitterness

My burden

My stomach full of knots

Your physical form has not been needed to drag you around the way I have

Everyday, I hear your voice

I see your face

I replay your lies over and over and over in my mind

I question how I could have not seen what was really going on

And judge myself

Harshly

Relentlessly

Unendingly

My cheeks flush with anger

My chest sinks with embarrassment

Years have gone by and I still feel it everyday

You were a coward

You were not my friend

You used my brokenness to gain something for yourself

And you did it with no conviction 

But I know my freedom from you comes

Only when I let go of it all with a whole heart

So I forgive you

And now...you truly lose me

 Battle

Acrylics on Canvas

Artist:Kate Hart