Too Soon

Missing you cuts deep
Messy
An undying agony
Jagged and prompt to the inhales of my breath

Heaven deserves you more than I do
But I'm bitter and jealous
Razor blade memories
Your funny faces
Our secret places

Tears fall like gasoline
Burning my flesh as they fall
I'm walking a thin line
Clumsy and shaken

I can't shake this
The race of my heart beat
The knot in my stomach
The feeling that I'm trapped in a nighmare

You walked into my life as unexpectedly as you left
Both changing everything

We were reckless kids when we met
No ability to see the future of our connection
The ebb and flow of our friendship
What did we know back then?
Black nails
Cigarette breath
Sandy feet

Neither one of our lives turned out to be what we hoped
But we were still us
Still linked
Still vital to each other


And you left
Flew away into the clouds
Without permission
Without asking if we were ready to let you go
Knowing I'll see you again some day
Doesn't always bring comfort like it should
We are impatient for you

Hereditary Sadness

Stare hard into the mirror...
The broken shards of glass.
Who do you see?

Do not follow the footsteps
Of his inner suffering.
You have felt first hand the agony it causes.
You know the hopeless place it can lead.

Your life is a gift, and wisdom would imply,
That you walk a path less harmful.

You can reflect his heart's goodness,
Remember his laughter and smile,
But not repeat the wasted years...
Not cause as many tears.

The destructive pattern starts with solitude,
Self loathing.
And your walking full steam ahead into the darkness
Purposefully hiding from the light.

Please. Stop.